After last week’s semi-breakdown people surprisingly were sad that I intended to stop doing this blog anymore, which made me think maybe I should continue, but then that made me feel dramatic and attention-seeking, and as we all know I’m actually really shy and lowkey… So what I decided instead was: I will continue until the end of the year, or until the morning I wake up and I truly cannot even force myself to open my laptiop, which ever comes first. Either way there will be no more NMF blogs past 2018. That doesn’t mean no more unsolicited opinions on music! They just won’t be this format anymore. I’m not sure what the “future” looks like just yet, but it won’t be this. There. I’ve said it now. So now you know. Business as usual this morning though. I am slowly but surely going back through the main playlist and binning off anything I don’t really listen to – full disclosure there are actually two playlists in existence, the public facing Spotify one and an Apple Music one for songs I love so much I paid 99p for them. The Apple Music one is only 108 tracks long, and the Spotify playlist is 200+ so there’s obviously a lot of fat to be trimmed. I’m being much more ruthless about what I add, as you have probably noticed in the past few weeks. Anyways! I’m currently super ill and my weekend plans for lots of wholesome self-care are in jeopardy because I feel like I can’t move, but on the plus side I had my gym induction today which I’m gonna have to skip. I hope your weekend goes better than the way mine is looking!
MABEL – ‘ONE SHOT’
The way I was fully about to skip this at 7 seconds. That fucking intro. How many songs have you heard with that intro in the past 18 months? I wanna write a horror film based around it because it HAUNTS MY FUCKING NIGHTMARES. I persevered though, for a safe and samey Mabel track that basically takes ‘Fine Line’, sandpapers the edges and sugars it up. Nothing wrong with that, ‘Fine Line’ is a decent song, but I struggled to actively want to play it then and I definitely don’t want to play it now. I rate Mabel though, I don’t mind her coasting to success on the bare actual minimum, but I am gagging for another ‘Bedroom’. Just a lil something more interesting, y’know?
YUNGEN – ‘INTIMATE’ ft. CRAIG DAVID
My indifference to Yungen was beginning to mutate into something you could describe as “interest” if you squinted, but I’m back to being indifferent again. And I think I’ve made it pretty clear how I feel about “Craig” “David” in the year two thousand and eighteen. The other day I was in west London, for reasons, and a man fully stepped in front of me, like into my path so I had to rear back to avoid a collision and he was chatting shit as men do and when I side-stepped him without a word he shouted “OI WHY YOU SCARED FOR?” and I shouted back “I’M NOT SCARED I JUST WANT YOU TO LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE!” and anyway, this song sounds like that man.
TROYE SIVAN – ‘PLUM’
The Troye Sivan album is released today. This is the song they have chosen to lure people into listening to it. The problem with the way albums are rolled out nowadays is that if you haven’t got onboard across the five (5!!!!!) songs they’ve already dripped off it, when you get to the sixth best song on album release day, you’re not likely to be converted are you. ‘Plum’ probably sounds fine, nestled as it is seven places into the tracklisting, but exposed and asked to be treated on its own merits… well, I took a sip of coffee mid-sentence and now I’ve already forgotten the tune. Thankfully, the Troye album is a mere ten tracks and we’ve heard over half of them so that will be a very quick listen later on. More ten track albums challenge, less releasing every song as a “single” challenge.
AJ TRACEY – ‘LO(V/S)ER’
Took one look at this clusterfuck title and I thought to myself, “not today, I’m too ill”.
EMINEM – ‘FALL’
It’s ironic, isn’t it, that Tyler The Creator is banned from the United Kingdom for using the word “fxggxt” in his early works and yet Eminem, who on ‘Fall’ aims that exact slur at Tyler (he came out as gay or bi on his 2017 album Flower Boy), will surely be welcomed all the way to Wembley Stadium. It’s real fucking ironic.
MNEK – ‘CORRECT’ ☑
This song is a FLEX and you know what? Not a single lie was detected. MNEK has been churning out gold-plated productions for what, seven years now? It’s good to hear him brag on it a little, since lord knows our garbage press, TV and radio aren’t doing it. This is probably my second favourite album cut after ‘Tongue’, I can see myself playing it a lot.
TWENTY ONE PILOTS – ‘MY BLOOD’
How have Twenty One Pilots gone from consistently hitting the very upper reaches of the chart to kind of… happening without mention? This is the fourth track they’ve released this era but only the second one I’ve been aware of. I don’t check for them, but I like to hear about them in passing, y’know? This track is kinda plodding and inconsequential, but I didn’t hate it. I have a hunch it could be a bit of a grower – the falsetto hook is quite catchy – but I’m not gonna play it again until the album hits.
TASH SULTANA – ‘CIGARETTES’
The first verse of this is so slurred and mumbled only Ariana Grande can understand it. It gets a little sharper as it continues, and like, it’s so “nice” and “organic” and whatever but oh my god it’s so boring and it’s five! minutes! long! Three and a half minutes in, the tempo switches up completely and it turns into just like 2 minutes worth of jamming or whatever and who can fucking be arsed WHO CAN BE ARRRRRRSEDDDDDDDD!?!?!!?!?!?!?!?!?
LOUD LUXURY x ANDERS – ‘LOVE NO MORE’
Towards the beginning of the year when I was being less discerning, I probably would have popped this on the playlist. It’s cute, by the numbers, house-pop. Sadly we are eight months into the year and I’m jaded af, so I never want to hear this again.
NO ROME – ‘NARCISSIST’ ft. THE 1975 ☑
No Rome has released three exquisitely written and produced songs with interesting stuff happening lyrically and melodically but this is the first time he’s hit the NMF playlist any higher than the middle clump of “we’ve stopped sequencing now tbh”, helped I’m sure, by the fact that The 1975 (who have produced his EP) are also credited on this track. It’s also his best one – without a doubt has the strongest chorus – and while there are The 1975 fingerprints all over it, it feels much more like a cohesive collaboration between two artists on the same wavelength than say… the Pale Waves project which is essentially just The 1975 with a female vocalist. No Rome doesn’t excite me in 2018 quite as much as Brockhampton did in 2017, but he’s the most intriguing new artist to launch this year.