Wow, okay… the way I fully forgot it was Friday! I was lounging in bed for a full 45 minutes just drinking coffee and thinking tiredly about how the grind don’t stop before I realised the end of the week had come around. I am just rinsed at the moment though – Manchester to London to New York to London to Newcastle to Brighton to London and then (later today) to Coventry, all in the space of three weeks is taking its toll on me physically and clearly mentally too. I’m just not about this life! I shan’t delay this week’s reviews any further, however, follow the main playlist and stay tuned for me getting my shit together any day soon… hopefully. Have a relaxing weekend, kids.
DRAKE – ‘DON’T MATTER TO ME’ ft. MICHAEL JACKSON
I find it… uncomfortable when Drake collaborates with dead people. Manipulating past legends for your gain without their consent is just icky, don’t @ me. Anyway, the ghoulish element of this aside, I hope this isn’t the best cut from his marathon new record because it’s very boring. Outside of the MJ spectacle (and I don’t recognise his hook, so it must be “new” material) there’s nothing of interest happening here – it’s thematically, lyrically, musically tired. I’m praying for better because ‘Nice For What’ absolutely bangs still.
FLORENCE + THE MACHINE – ‘PATRICIA’
There is a new FAT Machine album out today and I’m sorry but… how can this be? I feel like this campaign has moved in the dark, like, admittedly I do not check for Florence but when has that ever stopped me from being aware of new music being released. Florence is the type of artist that gets shoved down my throat, either by the press or the timeline (and usually both), but not a whisper of anticipation for this record have I heard! I’ve been a bit out of it this month though, maybe I just didn’t notice… Anyway, this song is apparently a tribute to Patti Smith (who is not even dead so like, bit kiss-arsey) and it’s nice. Nice enough that I will give the record a cursory once through, but not nice enough for me to playlist.
HARDY CAPRIO – ‘BEST LIFE’ ft. ONE ACEN
Hardy Caprio is… god, just so uninteresting? This is the third time this year he’s been up the very top of the NMF playlist, and for what? Some of the most wallpaper, tampon tunes released in the last 6 months. I’ve gone from feeling indifferent to active dislike. Recycled beats, try hard hook, dead delivery. If Spotify force feed me this guy one more time I’m burning the whole of London down.
GORILLAZ – ‘TRANZ’
Gorillaz also have an album out today? I feel like that vid of Britney Spears, high af, asking K-Fed “where have I been!?!” this morning, like… surely it was only last week that they dropped the first single from this record? Whatever, whatever, I like this spacey synthy drone on, I guess. I will like it in context, I’m sure. Is it just me or have we not listened to anything good yet?
CHARLI XCX – ‘FOCUS’
I genuinely did not realise this was the Charli song, so when I switched the screen back to Spotify to check which nondescript session singer I was being subjected to, I almost fell out of bed in shock. This is y’alls queen? Charli is of course capable of being interesting and fun, but this is… not it. Imagine asking me to focus on anything after listening to this repetitive bollocks! I’ve gone into a coma, my eyes are fucking crossed, the only thing taking up any of my attention right now is my wish for a swift and decisive end to my life. If a meteor could smash through my window and just cave my skull in, that would be marvellous.
ZION B – ‘MOVIN’ w/ RAMZ ☑
What are these strong Blazin Squad energies emanating from this track? And I 100% mean that as a compliment, by the way. I actually saw the video for this a couple days ago and it opens with a CHOREOGRAPHED ROUTINE so I’m lowkey stanning Zion B for bringing something different to the UK rap table, and he hasn’t even left school yet. Meanwhile, Ramz is still longing out his 15 minutes, almost but not quite to the point of being unwelcome. Tick tock, though…
HONNE – ‘I GOT YOU◑’ ft. NANA ROGUES
Chill Sunday morning vibes with an assist from the producer behind Drake’s ‘Passionfruit’ among other such quality tunes. There’s not much more to say – this is a very specific genre of music to be played literally only on Sunday mornings (between the hours of 9-11am) and you must drink coffee not tea.
LABRINTH & STEFFLON DON – ‘SAME TEAM’
Did Labrinth forget he released ‘Earthquake’? And produced all of Tinie Tempah’s hits? Like I know he tends to sell more of his drippy ballads and mid-tempos because they get rinsed to death on The X Factor, but when he is so capable of bangers, why does he keep serving up these mellow sedatives? Safe and tepid, Stefflon Don was forgettable. I’m tired.
ONEREPUBLIC – ‘CONNECTION’
I think this song has been uploaded incorrectly into the Spotify database and credited to OneRepublic, but it is in fact a song by The Chainsmokers. Christ.