New Music Friday #69

Firstly… nice. Secondly, I completely forgot Janelle Monáe’s album was out today! What an absolute blessing straight from heaven. Thirdly, I’m supremely anxious that starting Monday I’m back to full time 9-5 for a month and I have so much to do but no time to do it in, so excuse me if I rattle through this week’s reviews. Admin-wise, the latest podcast episode is live and in some clever cross-promo I have some of the On The Latch boys recording with me on Saturday so make sure you send me new stuff to talk about by following this playlist and dropping tracks in. Meanwhile you can find all my favourite new stuff on the main 2018 playlist which is updated every week. #StreamNoTearsLeftToCry and happy Friday gang!

“Adele with bops” has an album out today and while I wouldn’t say it was my most anticipated or anything, I do consider myself an Anne-Marie fan in the more than casual sense. I’m excited to hear this record, basically. ‘Cry’ is a promising taster of what is in store for me when I hit play on Speak Your Mind later today. Co-written and produced with a woman from the team that gave us ‘Ciao Adios’ – aka Anne-Marie’s best banger and also one of the best songs of 2017, period – ‘Cry’ is another break up anthem with a touch of sardonic savagery. Sparse, echoey beats and a rousing vocal – it’s a proper arms aloft start to the morning. We have decided to stan forever.

Post Malone also has an album out today. It is called beerbongs & bentleys. Okay, cool. I confess I don’t understand what the appeal of this artist is – I get a disgusting stink in my nostrils just from reading his name, and every song sounds like a Mike Posner cut, just with poorer vocals and no good choruses – but you know, whatever. He’s another person who happens to be hugely successful but for the most part I don’t have to look at it or listen because it’s never right under my nose. (Which I’m thankful for, because honestly, I really do subconsciously hold my breath.) ‘Better Now’ starts and then it happens and then it stops. That is the most accurate description of that listening experience you’re ever gonna read.

Stargate rebranded as an artist outfit last year and released an unremarkable song with P!nk providing the featured vocals, and now they’re back with… another unremarkable song that sounds like something one of the guys from Migos would mumble in their sleep. Stargate have a record – though I’d posit they have as many misses as they do hits – so I can’t understand why this new project of theirs is so uninspiring. Rihanna needs to do them a favour and restore their magic, they haven’t put out anything really worth repeating since her Rated RLoud era.

The Q.U.E.E.N. of the Free-Ass Motherfuckers has dropped the album of the year today (quote me!) and I know that without even listening to anything beyond the single and instant-grats because nobody, but nobody, has even one song as good as ‘Make Me Feel’ never mind a full album worth of them. ‘I Got The Juice’ is another pussy-centric bop, with a little trap-vibe to it, a fun, break from all the lush, R&B we’ve had so far. It sounds a bit more playful and winking than ‘Pynk’, the other pussy-bop from this record, and the bouncy energy to it gives me the hairbrush microphone bug. Love this, love ha.

There is literally one verse to this song which is repeated throughout, and therefore it could really stand to have a more explosive hook. “I believe in you” should go off, not just like, happen at the same speed and intonation as everything else going on. A whimper of a track, but there was potential for a banger. And it goes on for a whole four minutes – for why, please?

My interest in this track was fading out, and then bam! a ‘No Scrubs’ interpolation! That was the only flair of excitement though, truly. I smiled a bit at the Lycamobile promo, but otherwise this is just another churn out from the afro-beat / dancehall factory.

A relatable song title. Very me, emailing Spotify to find out how many more Blossoms tracks that sound exactly like the one before they’re gonna showcase up the top of New Music Friday before moving them down thirty spots because no one gives a fuck.

I don’t wanna get into this “artist” because I could talk for hours and none of it would be good, so I’m just gonna say that this CNCO b-side is not the one. Spanglish? Still? In the year two thousand and eighteen? You know what actually, CNCO sweetie, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. It’s more like a CNCO c-side. B-side is too kind.

HONNE – ‘ME & YOU ◑’ ft. TOM MISCH ☑
I don’t really know Honne, I don’t really know what the meaning of this lil’ “◑” is at the end of the song title, and I don’t really know if I love this track, but I guess it sounds like a poppier version of literally anything on the Tom Misch album so I’m gonna give it a chance to grow. Not life-changing, but not harmful. Sometimes, you just need a bit of nice, right?

I have thoroughly enjoyed the last couple of Twin Shadow tracks, but this isn’t grabbing me in quite the same way. It has less of that “roadtrip in the 80s” feeling and is more of a “lying on the bed staring at the ceiling… in the 80s” kind of mood. Definitely giving the album a spin, but this has no replay value for me.


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