New Music Friday #52

Well, well, well. No New Music Friday playlist from Spotify UK this morning. Other countries have updated theirs, plus my “Release Radar” refreshed itself, so its not like all of Spotify is taking the end of the year off, but what a flaccid end to the year. There’s like no new music at all. None that’s easily surfacing on Spotify or iTunes anyway. Since I didn’t wanna break my 52 week streak on a technicality, here’s a handful of tracks I’ve plucked from the updated NMF playlists from various other countries instead, plus that Cardi B song from last week that didn’t have a global release date for some reason. Sidenote: the music landscape outside the UK is so interesting. We’re like the only country that has time for those wanky Shoreditch electro-indie-pop acts that sell nothing, it seems. Also there’s a special NMF for Christian music? And people wanna say Christianity isn’t favoured… pffft! Anyways, listen along to them HERE, catch up with the best of 2017 if you missed it yesterday and standby for the best 20 albums of the year coming in the next couple of days.

Topping Germany’s New Music Friday playlist is this “if Drake had cornier beats” track called ‘FML’. I did German at school but I literally only recognised one word in 10, so I ran the lyrics through Translate and basically it’s about fucking. And not even safe fucking! “Baby I’m clean we don’t need a condom” is a lyric that definitely sounds better in German. The vaguely autotuned chorus is really dated and unsexy and generally I was bummed out from listening to this. It’s not a horrible song but it is desperately uncool.

Cardi is talking about absolutely nothing but wealth on this track and I don’t give a fuck what she owns, but I love the way she’s saying it. The beat is minimal and unobtrusive, keeping the way clear for Cardi to just chew it up and spit it out across two verses – every single syllable is bitten off and pointed, it’s like ASMR but for getting you hyped instead of relaxing you. 21 Savage drops in a perfectly acceptable verse, but I would rather have had another one from Cardi. I like this better than ‘Bodak Yellow’, though it doesn’t have comparable energy.

The theme song to Grown-ish, a spin-off to Black-ish, two TV shows I would love to watch if I could just get like… six months to see all the programmes and listen to all the albums I’m behind on, but also still get paid in that time, from Beyoncé signed sister duo Chloe x Halle is a lush, choral musing on coming of age… that leaves me completely cold. I think I’m too old for this shit. How depressing.

Not the single from EXO’s newest EP, but the one chosen for a couple of NMF playlists this year, so the one we will review. It’s a moody, R&B flavoured midtempo and it’s kind of gorgeous. Dreamy boyband vocals and a dark, vibing beat – it’s cooler than anything the new crop of Western boybands have put out this year just by being so understated.

When Lil Xan inevitably hits the UK top 10, I look forward to the outraged Daily Mail article about how white rappers are fueling the use of prescription drugs! Until then, this bangs a bit. The “I wake up, I throw up, I feel like I’m dead” hook and the trap-by-numbers beat are both extremely catchy and very me on New Year’s Day.

Yes I’m listening to this only because the artist is using a spoonerism of Han Solo as his professional name, what of it? As it turns out, this electronic instrumental vibe, while perfectly listenable, is extremely not my bag, but I’m glad I tried it, y’know? It’s important to know what you don’t like as much as you know what you do like. How else will you appreciate things?

This is hot garbage. Not even hot. Tepid. Tepid garbage. Soundcloud rap is actually fine, but not this. Never this.

I don’t like this either. It’s making me stressed. The beat sounds too much like what happens when one earbud gets shot out and makes the music cut every time you flex the wire. The flow is too staccato and anti-rhythmic for me to get comfortable. No thank you to this.

Follow my 2017 playlist here…


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