I didn’t stay up to watch The Grammys last night. I didn’t even make it half an hour into the red carpet. Life has been kicking my exhausted little butt lately. I’ve barely caught up on anything either, because honestly, I just don’t fucking care about anything outside of Kanye, Madonna and Rihanna. So here’s what I thought about those things. I know you’ve been dying for my opinion…
MADONNA’S LIVING FOR LOVE PERFORMANCE
WHAT. A. WOMAN. Out here at 50-odd, doing things with her body I couldn’t even do in my teens. Did she make you uncomfortable, dull conservative media? What about you, barely disguised sexist homosexuals? Do you feel squeamish too, self-loathing women of all ages? Good. Well into her fourth decade in this business, Madonna is still shaking everyone the fuck up and she doesn’t even have to try hard to do so. She just has to get older. I thought the performance lacked a WOW moment, but the song is incredible, the choir amplified that incredible chorus, and in general Madonna brings things to the stage that not one of the recent crop of pop acts can touch. She’s an indisputable superstar.
RIHANNA’S “I SWEAR I WISH SOMEBODY WOULD TRY ME” FACE
I mean, I’m so hot for her right now, I can’t even think. Glad to hear she’s spent some of this long break working on her vocals, she sounded incredible. Still love the song. Y’all need to come around to it, for real.
A DAMP SQUIB ENDING TO A DAMP SQUIB ALBUM CAMPAIGN
Prism was such a non-event of a record, but last week Katy really pulled everything back with her Superbowl performance. And then she went and spoiled it all with this boring performance of ‘By The Grace Of God’, with a strange domestic violence awareness intro and a patchy vocal. I live for the Mon Mothma outfit tho.
KANYE AND KIM KARDASHIAN-WEST
Everything about them. ‘Ye rolling up the ankles on his clothes to see his new Yeezy Boosts. Kimberly serving golden regalness. ‘Ye’s performances both on stage and off. Kimberly not knowing who Beck was. I love them so wholeheartedly.