5 at 5 // 26 August 2014

So, my pledge to do this every day crashed and burned pretty quickly but I’m back on the wagon! Here are 5 songs I like or do not like or whatever.

MAROON 5 – ‘MAPS’

Maroon 5’s latest single has been charting all over the world for two months, but only just hit the UK on the weekend where it is being cockblocked from the #1 spot by Robin Schulz & LILYWOOD (who?) Another co-write with Benny Blanco, ‘Maps’ isn’t ‘Moves Like Jagger’ catchy but the “map that leads to yooooooou!” aims for that same “mooOOooOOooOOooves” level of earworm, and it doesn’t do too bad a job of it. ★★★★☆

JUCE – ‘BURNING UP’

Honestly, I’m not sure if I can truly give a shit about a girl band that seems to only ironically be a girl band but I do think this is a Tune with a capital T. Imagine you’re in a club, or maybe just a bar with a dancefloor, and you’re just at the point where you think you’ll maybe get up and bust a move, and then this song comes on and you start chair dancing – just shoulder wiggling – and then raising your arms a little bit maybe and then this song ends and a total banger comes on and you STAMPEDE to the dancefloor… That’s pretty much what ‘Burning Up’ is. The lube before you fuck the dancefloor in the ear. I bet you didn’t think you’d read that sentence today. ★★★☆☆

NICOLE SCHERZINGER – ‘ON THE ROCKS’

I mean… lord, have mercy on us all for the dramatics this song has inspired. Nicole premiered her new single on Radio 1 this morning, which I listened to live, ie. without anyone else’s opinion rolled into the equation and while I wasn’t ‘Your Love’ struck, I wasn’t dismayed beyond belief either. How could I be when ‘Crazy Stupid Love’ is a compressed turd of a song that exists? I’ve already exhausted my disappointment quota for the year. This is a 6/10 song that Nicole is gonna sing the fuck out of live. Also “allow me to serve you this break up… on the rocks” is such a smooth flip off lyric. Calm your hysterics, please. ★★★☆☆

JESSIE J, ARIANA GRANDE & NICKI MINAJ – ‘BANG BANG’

No, you still can’t get this single in the UK (which might be why Jessie J doesn’t feel the love right now) but it is an album only track on the new Ariana album (track by track review soon come). The VMAs performance over the weekend reignited my love for this song, which had waned a teeny tiny bit in the last couple weeks, and it made me realise how good a track it really is. Very possibly song of the year? And it’s a Jessie J track! Who’da thunk. ★★★★★

KATE BUSH – ‘SAT IN YOUR LAP’

I’m seeing Kate Bush tonight, in what will allegedly be a mind-blowing, three hour extravaganza of iconic history making. I could have picked any of Kate’s many beautifully crafted pop songs to feature in this spot but there’s something about listening to ‘Sat In Your Lap’ that makes me feel batshit crazy in a good way, so this is the one I chose. Also shout out to whoever it was on twitter that I half-read doing a rework of ‘Wuthering Heights’ ft. Pitbull, because that made me cackle and also want it. ★★★★★

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