6 important moments from Nicki Minaj’s ‘Anaconda’ video

‘Anaconda’, the Sir Mix-a-lot sampling single from Nicki Minaj’s forthcoming album, now has a video to accompany it and I am rating it 8/10 as a promotional asset for the song and 10/10 for the “find the fucks that Nicki Minaj gives” interactive game element (spoiler: she gives NONE).

Here are the 6 most important moments from ‘Anaconda’:

1. THIS CASUAL PRODUCT PLACEMENT

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After all he’s been through, I can’t believe Indiana Jones died gagging on a Beats Pill.

2. NICKI’S NEW WORKOUT PLAN

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Get right for the summer with Nicki’s “Buns Guaranteed Hun” workout DVD. If you’re a beginner you can follow Kerry on Nicki’s right who is doing the “easy pose”.

3. OH MY GOD, LOOK AT HER BUTT

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The real star of this video.

4. WARNING: DO NOT LET NICKI PEEL YOUR BANA-NA-NA

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Look at the expression on her face. Would you trust this girl around your junk? If you answered “HELL NO” you’re damn right, son. 10 seconds later she chopped this banana into bite size chunks with a knife.

5. #TEAMNIGELLA

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This is almost a shot for shot recreation of a scene from Nigella’s Kitchen, I swear.

6. DRAKE IS HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS

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Right now, Drake is out there calling every girl he’s ever known, and his mother, to apologise for letting himself down.

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